You know when you're so motion sick that all willpower is focused on not to vom vom?
And when the train is tentionally going slower just to fuck with you?
And instead of walking out of the train you fall with your head first because you're not used to the ground to be still?
No, i didn't happen to me.
And the night goes on.
Back to tumblr
She hasn't called back.
It's been hours.
No one loves me.
story of my life.
at least for the last month.
I hate being sick.
That's funny, BECAUSE I HAVE NO MEMORY ADDING HIM.
So one outta two things must have happened.
- I got so shitfaced yesterday and feel asleep on my phone and accidentally added him.
- I accidentally sat down on my computer and added him.
The two pair I'm chosing from are fairly similar, I dare to say almost identical. The only difference is the vibe that I'm pulling off. It's either a more dorky Asian vibe or a 50's secretary vibe.
I think I will go the the nerdy fob.
My style is like a 18 year old boy. WHen I shop clothes I purchase from the men's department at H&M or our version of Walmart. In my head I dress like the cool, calm, collected tomboy I am, but in reality I might look like a butch lumberjack with a childish sense of humor. ain't that pretty?
THis made me also think about last weekend's event, how I got attention from a mAn. Not a fictional kpop idol, but a real mortal man. THis just blew my mind that I could attract someone that is not a man-boy, which I would call my latest romantic failures. Instead I felt like a semi-woman which is progress from feeling like an asexual older sister or buddy. This nails the problem that I've been having lately. I think I could use a man. SInce I haven't been in a relationship for so long, I'm a bit rusty. I don't know where to go fishing, how or even what to wear. I'm also not sure I'm ready. However, I'm used to throwing myself into things even though I'm scared shitless yet still doing it with half of the dignity I imagine.
In order to make this fishing trip sucessful, I ought to go back to my mum's advice. STOP DRESSING LIKE A BOY AND START WEARING CLOTHES THAT WILL MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE YOU'RE A WOMAN. She didn't really say it like that but it was indicated. So for funzies I will sometimes dress a bit more feminine and be less "dude, are you serious?"/"bro, that is lame as shit" in order to make an effort. SInce I haven't done anything to try to get a man, I figured he's not going to jump into my arms like a fair knight and I will take him to my castle riding a horse towards the sunset, just like that.
Dressing is the first part and the second part is acting a bit more feminine. I'm not saying that I will change everything about me that makes me, I'm just trying to be a bit more sophisticated and make an effort. Something that will be a bit troublesome is that the fact that I can't flirt, I wasn't born with that gene. Top that with my extended awkwardness and ability to make everything feel as uncomfortable as panties stuck in your ass. I also get super shy whenever someone attrative enters. I tend to look at my feet as if they were the beautiful man. Yes, I have some minor disadvantages to overcome, indeed, but I think I'll manage.
I also think of the clever and brilliant Dorothy Parker--Men seldom make passes. At girls who wear glasses.